The Barbershop Chorus The joy of singing barbershop can never be denied Except by those who have to listen - often from the side Of course, our wives and partners will support us to the end But maybe that’s because they simply want to be our friend...! Let’s face it, folks, the songs we sing aren’t loved by everyone But when we get together for rehearsals we have fun The cricket and the footy and the golf will be discussed And finally, we’ll start to sing but only if we must...! The MD always stands out front and quietly leads the team And forces us through exercises just to help us breath We’ll sing some tags and other tunes designed to make us blend But the chords we make are often rather tuneless in the end. Of course, we all improve our parts by practising each night So that basses, leads and baritones can get the notes quite right The tenors, never have a problem – perfection is their aim And squealing in falsetto is such a simple a game. It may surprise you all out there that tenor’s what I sing And with my colleagues we’re the ones who make the chords all ring The basses, leads and baritones they really try so hard But it’s obvious to everyone they’ve drawn the lowest card. When practising at home I put in many, many hours But my wife hides in the lounge room where she blocks her ears and cowers Last week she said the song I’d sung – I’d really got off-pat I didn’t like to tell her that I’d just stood on the cat. A special word about the basses must be introduced If nothing else their sense of worth and value needs a boost Without the bass-line, all our songs would lack the music tonic And the basses will provide this - even though they’re all moronic.
Of course, I jest, and please forgive my rudeness and bad humour The poor standard of the basses is just a silly rumour Without the basses other parts would simply be bare-bones Which brings me to the obvious – let’s tease baritones…! It's no fun as a Baritone when singing in the choir,
The leads get all the tuneful bits that people most admire,
The basses boom like big trombones, the tenors squeal with glee,
But Baris only get two notes, or if they’re lucky, three.
When Baris sing a sacred song, which lifts their hearts in praise The others get the juicy bits and each harmonious phrase.
Of course, the leads will sing the tune - they always come off best While Baris only get three notes then twenty-two bars rest.
It doesn't matter what they sing, from ballads or up-tune,
The MD always picks on them – “You’ve come in far too soon...!
Too high! Too low! Too fast! Too slow! You held that note too long!”
It doesn't matter what they do, it's certain to be wrong.
Oh! Shed a tear for Baritones: they’re martyrs and they know
In ranks of chorus singers they're considered rather low.
They are so very humble that a lot of folk forget 'em:
They'd love to sing with tenors but their vocal chords won't let 'em.